Today, we’re diving deep into a subject that holds many of us back—self-doubt. That little voice inside that whispers, "Who are you to start that business?" or "Why would anyone want to be with you?" It's time to change the narrative and step into your power.

In this blog post, I'll share two powerful methods—‘Be The Observer’ and ‘Anchoring’—that will help you harness the power of your subconscious mind and start taking bold, aligned actions in your life. Whether you're looking to level up in your career or open up to new relationships, these strategies will give you the tools to crush those limiting beliefs and embrace the life you truly deserve.

Ready to turn down the volume on self-doubt and make bold moves? Let’s get started.

What is Self-Doubt and Why Does It Hold Us Back?

Self-doubt is that persistent voice that questions your worth and ability, often stemming from past experiences of rejection or judgment. Ever wondered, "Why do I constantly doubt myself?" It’s a way your mind tries to protect you from potential failure or rejection. But instead of protecting you, these thoughts keep you stuck.

Here’s the truth: Those limiting beliefs are just stories you’ve been telling yourself. Stories like, "I’m not smart enough to succeed in business" or "No one would want to be with me after what I’ve been through" are not facts—they're just narratives that can be rewritten.

Why Do We Struggle with Self-Doubt Even When We Know Our Worth?

It’s often a defense mechanism. Your brain thinks it’s keeping you safe by holding you back from risks. But if you want to start taking bold actions—whether it’s launching a new project, going after a promotion, or opening your heart to new love—you’ve got to recognize and dismantle these outdated beliefs. Let’s shift your mindset and step into a new reality.

My Story: How I Overcame Self-Doubt and Rebuilt My Confidence

Let me take you back to a time when self-doubt nearly stopped me from moving forward... After leaving a ten-year relationship in May 2023, I found myself back in Washington, a single parent with two kids, starting from scratch. I had been through emotional abuse and had a lot of healing to do before I even considered dating again.

Months later, in March 2024, I decided to tiptoe back into the dating world. As I filled out my profile, I couldn’t shake the words my ex had drilled into my mind: “No one wants a single mom. You have too much baggage.” Even though I knew deep down that he was wrong, those beliefs lingered. I found myself thinking, "Who would want to date me? I’m basically starting over."

But here’s what changed: I realized that this belief—that I was too much for someone to love—was just a story. A story that had been keeping me from putting myself out there and exploring new connections. I knew I had to release the meaning I’d given to those words if I ever wanted a shot at real connection again.

That’s when I started using the method I call 'Be The Observer,' and it was a game-changer. By detaching from my thoughts and seeing them for what they were—just thoughts—I began to rebuild my confidence and trust in myself.

Method 1: Be The Observer

The first step in overcoming self-doubt is learning to observe your thoughts without letting them control you. Think of it like watching a movie—you’re in the audience, not on the screen. This method helps you detach from those critical voices, making it easier to take actions that align with your true desires.

How to Be The Observer

1. Watch Your Thoughts Like a Movie: When self-doubt creeps in—like, "I’m not ready to date again" or "Why would anyone choose me?"—imagine that you’re watching a scene unfold on a screen. Observe the thought without reacting to it.

2. Let Your Thoughts Pass: Picture yourself sitting by a river. Your thoughts are like leaves floating by on the water. Instead of grabbing onto those thoughts, just watch them drift by. This practice allows you to see self-doubt for what it is—temporary and separate from your true self.

3. Choose a New Thought: Ask yourself, "What do I want to believe instead?" Watch a new version of the scene play out on your mental screen with this new, empowering thought.

By being the observer, you create space between yourself and the stories you’ve been carrying. This gives you the freedom to rewrite those stories and choose new beliefs that empower you.

Method 2: Anchoring Positive Emotional States

Once you’ve learned to detach from self-doubt, the next step is to anchor positive emotional states like confidence and calm. Anchoring is a powerful technique from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) that helps you associate a physical action or item with a positive emotional state.

How to Use Anchoring for Confidence

1. Choose Your Anchor: This can be a simple physical gesture like pressing your thumb and forefinger together, or it could be a touchpoint like pinching your earlobe—something you don’t do often.

2. Link Positive Emotions to Your Anchor: Think back to a time when you felt truly confident and powerful. Close your eyes and relive that moment in vivid detail—what did you see, hear, and feel? Press your anchor point while you recall these emotions, allowing them to fill your body.

3. Activate Your Anchor in Real Situations: The next time you’re facing a nerve-wracking situation—like a big meeting, a sales call, or a first date—use your anchor to instantly tap into that confident state.

Anchoring helps you shift your emotional state on demand, making it easier to show up as your best self, no matter what challenges you face.

Combining the Methods for Maximum Impact

When you combine ‘Be The Observer’ with Anchoring, you have a powerful toolkit for overcoming self-doubt. Imagine observing a thought like, "I’m not good enough for this job," letting it pass, and then activating your confidence anchor before hitting ‘send’ on that job application or walking into a big meeting.

These techniques help you shift your mental and emotional state quickly, allowing you to take bold actions that align with your goals.

Answering Your Most Pressing Questions About Self-Doubt

1. How do you stop self-doubting yourself?

• Recognize that self-doubt is just a thought, not a fact. Use the ‘Be The Observer’ technique to detach from those thoughts and refocus on taking action.

2. How do I build self-confidence?

• Confidence comes from taking consistent, small actions outside your comfort zone. Use the anchoring technique to create a mental shortcut to confidence and take that first step.

3. How do I stop overthinking?

• Overthinking often stems from fear of failure. Use your anchor to shift into a state of calm and focus on taking the next small step, instead of getting lost in analysis paralysis.

4. Why do I constantly doubt myself?

• It’s often rooted in past experiences. Recognize that these are old stories your mind is replaying and use ‘Be The Observer’ to start rewriting them.

Take Back Your Power: It’s Time to Crush Self-Doubt

You have the power to crush the beliefs that have been keeping you stuck. Whether you’re ready to take a bold leap in your career or open yourself up to new relationships, these methods will help you shift your mindset and start acting from a place of confidence.

Remember, the power to create the life you want is within you. Stay bold, stay brave, and keep that inner fire burning bright ❤️‍🔥